Archive of Lady Catherine de Turnips

A squashbuckling heroine.
A well-travelled flâneuse who writes letters to an unnamed friend.

If anybody asked her to follow the STAR* framework in her answer, she would lecture on the historical optimism of the celestial mosaics of Ravenna, astrology, and Giordano Bruno, who was burned at the stake on a square in Rome named after flowers — and then point out the directions of all the decent coffee shops in its surroundings.

• Entry 4663-2-5: On murders and shovels
  Bartering medieval artefacts is not my only source of chocolate.
  
  
• Entry 4663-1-bis: A brief report on alligators, pelicans and Elizabeth I
  As you know, in the world that plays checkers, I play Heroes of Might and Magic.
  It is not that the latter is somehow more intellectually advanced: it is a rather straightforward computer strategy where one is supposed to build their own castles, sometimes with dragons, sometimes with skeletons, and use them in further adventures.
  
  
• Entry 4663-0-y: On being undersold and overpriced
  Yet here I am, fighting with an unprecedented London heat in a very urban manner and as violently as a lifelong pacifist can.
  
  
• Entry 4663-double-2: A note on considerate neighbours
  What do Isaac Newton and tigers have in common? Among many possible answers, they both lived, at some point, in the Tower of London.
  So, I hope you are still following my train of thought, because once again, we are getting closer to the witches.
  
  
• Entry 4663-2: On avian friendship
  Kind, very kind, but not nice – even emphatically not nice.
  
  
• Entry 4663-4-2-4-2: On brevity
  Truth be told, I have no faintest idea what to say. Oh, how frustrated I am!
  
  
• Entry 4663-3-12: On the matter of cats and Catherines
  Whenever I travel and I have a terrace, a tiny garden or a balcony (and I do everything in my power to have either of them), I find a shallow bowl among those provided by my host — a carefully washed ashtray works marvellously for my purposes — and, having filled it with fresh water, place it there.
  
  
• Entry 4663-00-7: Her curtain call
  Some say first impressions are the most valuable ones. I disagree (only partially): for me, it’s the first confusion that defines a good story. First struggles? Possibly.
  
  

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* According to some people, the STAR method ("Situation, Task, Action, and Result") is a "structured technique used by employers to evaluate candidates by how they respond to behavioural and situational interview questions".

According to the London Archives, STAR stands for "Skills Training in Archival Research", which is held regularly (and quite enjoyable).

A star is also still a star.

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